In order to clearly identify the different kinds of orgasms, you must learn to make orgasmic distinctions. Once you understand these distinctions, you will be able to identify what kind of orgasm you are having. If you can identify the direction in which you want to move, you can flow from wherever you are to expanded orgasm - or to regular or extended orgasm. But it all starts with knowing what is on the map.
When presented as textbook definitions alone, these distinctions seem a little dry. Therefore for each, I give a factual definition, and a "feeling" definition as well. And for those of you who like to "see" things, I have added a visual definition, too.
Factual explanation: An orgasm in which climax is the goal. The climax is usually a series of ten to twelve contractions over several seconds. This climax is commonly called "going over the edge." The climax feels extremely good, though brief, and there is often a physical and mental letdown period immediately afterwards. It can be an effective tension release, and, of course, it can create a sense of bonding with your partner.
Feeling explanation: There you were on the dance floor. Suddenly, the DJ played your favorite song. Your partner swept you into his arms, and the two of you danced the perfect dance. At the very crescendo, he whirled you gracefully around, and the world around you transformed into a spinning sea of color, sound, and breeze. Your heart sang in joyful innocence. After several seconds he gradually brought you back into the regular cadence of the dance, which ended soon afterwards.
Visual interpretation: A single mountain peak. You are climbing higher and higher in sensation, until you go over the edge (climax), and then you begin to descend down the other side.
Factual explanation: Multiple orgasms are a series of regular orgasms experienced over a short period of time. Usually there is only a partial letdown after each orgasm or climax, before climbing up again, to go over another peak. The peaks remain at about the same level of intensity.
Feeling explanation: Your partner tonight is terrific, a real Fred Astaire. He danced that perfect tango with you, only to sweep you off your feet soon afterwards, in a fantastic fox trot. Another winner! And then, the two of you melted into a tantalizing and seductive rumba. You could have won an international contest for that one. And then a whirling waltz, and then, … could there be any more to dance from this point on? Yes, a final dance, the terrific, frantic, electrifying two-step that swept you up and down the dance floor so many times, you lost count. At last, you both rested. Tired but gratified, there were many swirling highlights to remember from this evening.
Visual interpretation: A range of mountain peaks. You go up and over the edge once, come down somewhat but not all the way, and then go up and over again (second climax). You climax to about the same altitude with each climax. At some point, you descend down the other side.
Factual explanation: Extended orgasm is a single orgasm that maintains the level of pleasurable sensation at climax over a period of time. The climax is often rounded or flat like a plateau. There’s no limit in length of time; however, one does need to build up the length of extended orgasm. With practice, many people plateau for an hour or more.
Feeling explanation: You decided to go to a new dance hall. The music seemed to go on and on, and soon, you fell into a sort of trance dance. Your partner led, until even that seemed irrelevant. You were in the dance of the music together. There was a certain point, a certain drumbeat, where you looked into one another’s eyes, and time stopped. You catapulted into a space defined by the fires of a compelling pleasure filling every nook and cranny of your being. For some time, you swirled around, as if gravity no longer existed, and only your desires to touch one another kept the two of you together. After a very long time, you found yourself slowly feeling the floor beneath you, and the rhythms of the dance once again became something you moved to voluntarily.
Visual interpretation: A mountain with a very long plateau, like a great mesa. You climb up to the top. Instead of going over the edge in a short peak, you linger up there, at the edge, for a long while, before heading down the other side. For single extended orgasms, there is one mountain peak. For multiple extended orgasms, there are several mountains, each with its own plateau.
Factual explanation: Expanded orgasm is a path of expanding both sensual awareness and consciousness while receiving genital stimulation. Expanded orgasm uses one’s own pathways of body, mind, emotion, and spirit to create maximum expansion opportunities. The goal (and focus) of receiving expanded orgasm is simply to feel as much of that pleasure as possible.
Think of filling a container in such a way that not only does the container become more full, but also where the container itself expands. The distinguishing expansion is in the sense of space. There is the sense of one’s entire body experiencing the orgasm, of reaching for an even larger being in which to put all that orgasmic pleasure. In contrast, Regular orgasms are felt primarily in the physical domain.
Expanded orgasms are an added dimension of experience during regular, multiple, and extended orgasm. A regular orgasm, for example, can also be an expanded one. The expanded experience is felt in the body, mind, emotions, and spirit, all at once. The focus is on the entire experience, and not just going over the edge.
You can experience expanded orgasm immediately after the session begins, or later in the session. It starts when one becomes aware of the expansion occurring. Think of expanded orgasm as a domain, a state of being, a realm of consciousness, a condition of feeling everywhere.
When you enter the expanded orgasm state, two things occur simultaneously.
· First, you leave your normal everyday waking state, in which your mental state, your physical state, your emotional state, and your spiritual state are typically separate.
· Second, you enter the expanded orgasm state, where all of these parts of yourself reconnect into one whole experience of yourself.
Feeling explanation: You start with mutual touching and the electricity between you spreads, coursing through your blood and nerves. You are dancing; it matters not where, or to what music. From the moment of contact, your beings merge. The energy of your combined connection fills your body, and expands beyond you two to fill the room. The awareness of all the sensations of sound, sight, touch, taste, and smell fill your dance with further delights. Whether you whirl, or pull away, only to return, you are locked in an energetic pas de deux, glued together in the rapture of the moment, until some unknown future you know not when. At some point, filled with the delights of this dance…or will it be ten dances…. you float back to the floor. You thank your partner with your broad, bright smile and notice him glowing with ecstasy as well.
Visual interpretation: Picture yourself, receiving orgasmic stimulation at a central point of input, possibly the genitals. Then picture that sensation radiating out like a glowing ember over the rest of your body, in pulsating waves. Or, picture tossing stones, in rapid succession, into the same place in a still pond. The ripples extend and expand in waves, gently outward. With increasing numbers of stones, the waves build in energy, and extend increasingly further out, until the whole pond is filled with waves lapping up upon the shores.
About the Author:
Patricia H. Taylor, Ph.D., teaches the art of "expanded lovemaking" to couples and singles nationally and internationally. Her background includes extensive studies at More University in Lafayette, California and with leading tantra teachers. She has been teaching and coaching for over ten years and currently leads play shops and salons (casual evenings for generating simple yet profound Tantra experiences) in Las Vegas, Nevada. "I teach you how to be the kind of lover you were when you first met someone attractive -- fresh, new and experimental. Everyone can learn to be this way -- confident with new lovers, and exciting with long-term partners as well." Dr. Taylor is the author of two books, including Expanded Orgasm: Soar to Ecstasy at Your Lover's Every Touch and The Enchantment of Opposites: How to Create Great Relationships. She has produced and starred in "Expand Her Orgasm Tonight," a seminal work in the field of reality sex-education videos. You can learn more about Dr.Taylor at: www.ExpandedLoveMaking.com.