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Lankomumo reitingas Версия для печати Spausdinti
Turning the wheel of the law

James Oermann rides the bicycle
of life as a bhikkhu

Ever since I began to practice Buddhism after my first experience with it at the St. Louis Thai Temple in Winter 1998-9, I have wondered what it would be like to take the robe. Then university and family obligations did not allow enough time. It was not until I got to Birmingham that the opportunity arose.

I had two main reasons for ordaining. To begin with, since I have often thought about monkhood as a vocation, I wanted to see from first-hand experience if the life was a good one for me. Then I wanted to have the opportunity to do serious Buddhist practice. Without a doubt the experience was a life-altering one from which I gained a great deal of insight into life, Buddhism, and myself.

The first forty-eight hours were very awkward and a little unsettling. It gave me a sensation very similar to the one I had when I first learned to ride a bicycle. One second I was trying to get the bike rolling, I was land-locked, a mere two-legged pedestrian, and the next I was a bike rider. Ordination could also be seen as entering a new realm of existence. One second I was a lay practitioner and a law student: my life was filled with books, friends, lectures, and the occasional recreational activity. The next second I was a holy man, living a new life: a life dedicated to Buddhism, filled with Suttas, chanting, a communal life, rules about what to do and how to do it. Gone were my property, my lay obligations, my studies. I was riding the bicycle of life as a holy man. James Oermann ceased to be and Pańńasiha took his place.

It struck me that to be a monk is relatively easy. In the classic straightforwardness and logic of Buddhism, which I have come to relate very much to the logical methods of Jurisprudence, a monk is simply a monk because of his behaviour. When he behaves likea monk, he is a monk, but if he fails to behave according to the code he is no longer a monk.

Things are defined according to their characteristics. In the law we call this the“objective approach”, used in favour of the less reliable “subjective approach”; the lawyer calls things according to the facts, not what he thinks or feels. Likewise a monk is defined by the facts of his actions and modes of life.

Nagasana Bikkhu was my instructor for the ten days and gave me The Initiation of Novicehood as an instruction manual. After reading some of the regulations and codes of conduct, including the ten offences that are punishable and the ten that are grounds for excommunication from the Order, I noticed a few themes. Some are about personal behaviour – not to eat after mid-day, not to steal or lie, and to take your duty and life as a monk seriously. A monk is to be contemplative about his shelter, clothing, food, and medicine. He is not wearing the robes to show off or entertain himself, he is not to be entertained by his food. Most interesting for me was that many of them are about social interaction. In my view, Buddha was one of the world's greatest social scientists.

My studies for the US diplomatic corps and of law allowed for some slightly warped analysis of the codes and how they could be used, or even abused. A monk is not to cause the loss of benefit of the other monks, a dissension in the Sangha or to dislocate another monk's residence (the last one I found particularly humorous). I saw that while these previous offences caused only punishment; to implicate the nuns is an excommunicable offence. Thoughts of political upheaval in the Sangha and even “hostile takeovers” similar to those the corporate world filled my head. However, these naughty thoughts did pass in time. I had come not only to try on the monk's clothes for size but also to do some serious Buddhist practice.

After about one and a half days I began to settle into a very serious mode of meditation and mindfulness in daily life. I took mindful walks after breakfast, tried to do as much meditation as possible (my whole body was still sore three days after I had taken back my lay clothes and returned to my regular life), and read countless books and Suttas. I entered a very deep state of awareness and got an epiphany of sorts on the fifth and sixth days. I reached a state of pure equaniminity with the world and its conditioned existence. I was absorbed into a state of understanding and accepting the transitory nature of my existence and mental experiences.

Needing to make the most of my time I tried to remain aware and make use of all the things that happened. One thing that I have learned through Buddhism is that each and every situation has its benefits and detriments (again some more legalistic logic). I found that it was after the settling in and the mental bliss states that the most profitable time would come. Even from seemingly simple activities I was learning a great deal.

I am not sure if there is any real reason to go into the detail of my insights, because I am sure that they are much the same for each practitioner. Buddha set down a path to lead in one direction. Everyone has his or her personal experience, but overall I think it is generally the same for everyone. Still, I think some are worth noting:


1. I noticed that I have a particular obsession, as most people do, of organizing and categorizing. This can lead to dead ends and closed minds.
2. One must take the bitter with the sweet.
3. Integrity and honesty are the only ways of doing things. The whole Vihara seems to drip with endless integrity and honesty.
4. The whole of life experience is a test of sorts. Everything is imperfect in this way or that. The point of Buddhism is what you do with life.
5. Just letting things be as they are is very difficult. Accepting them offers a great opportunity.
Another theme that continued for me was that the reality of how perception, ego, greed and ignorance create castles and cathedrals of delusion in the mind. These grand and complex structures are created by our own imperfect perceptions. They are magnificent things to behold; complex, multi-storied, with great turrets and massive entrance gates. However, they are not happy places to dwell. Affected by our desire for certain outcomes, of greed for this or that, by our misunderstanding of others' behaviour, we create our “castles and cathedrals of delusion.” One great fault is that I like to categorize people and think that I understand how they think – nothing could be farther from the truth. I struggled those ten days to overcome my own habit of erecting these massive structures in my mind. To a greater or lesser degree I did make some progress. There was some crumbling and cracking, but the private contractors remain waiting for their next building assignment.

A friend of mine who has been a Buddhist over forty years and is Philosophy Professor Emeritus at the University of New Orleans discussed with me a few years ago the old Zen Koan about how Nirvana is in fact useless. He said: “you can't sell it, it is very hard to market; all it is, is realisation.” I thought that this ordination would offer an opportunity to come to some resolution of the conundrum. I tried to solve the problem for days as a Novice but was unable to come to a satisfactory conclusion. The Dalai Lama says, “Buddhism is simple, people are complex”. Perhaps this is the best way to approach the problem. Nagasana said that Nibbana is simply the cessation of suffering; what could be more useful than that?

Finally, any time of serious Buddhist practice is a great opportunity to examine the human condition. Once during one of the discussions at the Missouri Zen Center, the question of “why am I practicing Buddhism?” came up. My response was that it makes one a better person and allows for great insight into the human condition. This remains my single most important benefit for being a Buddhist. I found countless examples of this over the ten days.

Also at the Missouri Zen Center, the leaders always tell newcomers, “if you don't want to change, don't come here”. Buddhism has meant as much change in my life as the difference in night and day. Nevertheless, after this experience and the five days I spent at Chithurst last year, I know that monkhood is not for me. However, as they warn at the Missouri Zen Center, change is due to come. My experience at the Birmingham Buddhist Vihara germinated a seed of an idea of opening a retreat centre in the Pacific Northwest or northern California. As a lay practitioner, I feel that one has more opportunity to communicate openly with other lay people and bring the Dhamma to the general public. Monks have limited mobility and the robe can act as a barrier. At this point I am not ready to buy land or build a centre, but as I learned during my ten days as a Samanera, Buddhism allows for the expansion and even enjoyment of space and freedom within one's mind. One tends to avoid obsessing over problems or worrying into a very closed mindset. One's mind and under-standing opens into places and experiences they had never dreamt of. I am keeping my options open.

         

Lankomumo reitingas

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1. Далай-лама XIV
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1. Буддизм как культурно-исторический феномен
2. Религия Тибета
3. Далай-лама XIV
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